i have written down dreams and forgotten them
years later as it manifests,
God says quietly to me
do you remember this, my love?
Pictured above is one of my many dreams. Ever since I can remember, a dream of mine has been to be an author. I adored books as a child, with no siblings and a young mother, they were easily a way to escape, a way to explore, and a journey of enlightenment (yes I was this deep as a child, ask my mom, she’ll co-sign.)
Somewhere, in my early teens, I envisioned myself as an author. Writing an auto-biography seemed a bit boring, but perhaps I’ll change my mind in the future, but at the time, I saw myself as woman who created stories, developed characters, and connected with my fans through my art. I always went to the back of the book, read about the author, critiqued their pic, wondered about their home life, and decided they were my peers. Then I would sit and envision myself in their shoes…a lofty house in Maine, overlooking the water, my children playing outside, my husband working in his office from home, and me in my study, working on my next book. That was my real life, that is the way I always saw myself…but that idea felt too big, too simple to be a success, and too far away from a reality I could identify with me. So I buried it in my heart, erased it from my conscious, and focused on a life where the steps were..clearer.
Now years later, I am older, wiser, more confident, and more myself. Every year, I host a party with my closest girlfriends, my tribe, and we create Vision Boards for the new year. Dream Manifesting. I love it because it’s a way for me to specify my goals, make plans, compare my growth from the previous year and fellowship with my girlfriends while learning about who they are as well. This year, pictures of books, a throwback picture of my fellow She-ro Issa Rae, and a cartoon of a woman reading to children found it’s way on my board. As I shared my board with my friends, I again whispered my dream of becoming an author, and made a commitment to myself that this year I would make it happen. Scary, but focused, but I make it a point to keep my promises to myself.
Months went by and no progress had been made. On my return trip back from Cuba, I posted photos of my travels. A childhood friend left a comment on one my pictures, that resonated with my vision board. Days later, I was having a conversation with my “niece”, my godsister’s daughter, and she asked me about my children’s book. I realized then that God was urging me in the direction of my dreams and I went to work.
What I havent’ shared with you is the backstory. I’ll make it quick. Years ago, I attempted to publish my work and was scarred from a book deal gone bad with a well-known author who turned out to be a shady business man. I tossed my dream aside and took the heartache as an indication that this wasn’t the dream for me, and turned my focus for my career elsewhere. Yet, I am here to tell you that delays and detours are sometimes just that…preparation for growth, allowance for investment, and insurance for deeper commitment. Not necessarily a resounding no.
The pictures above are sketches of my first book, Operation Puppy Patrol. Details to come in the weeks ahead because this is simply the beginning. The beginning of an already lengthy journey but one that has me smiling from ear to ear because I know the work that’s been put in place and I know if I keep moving, trusting, and believing, the reward will be worth it.
Manifesting Dreams, having faith, doing the work…all takes courage. Yet, if you never start, you surely will never finish.
Bloop, I just dropped a gem. I hope you caught that. (smile)
Toya, In Wonderland
If you want to take the first step in manifesting your dreams…speak them into existence by sharing them below. I would love to hear from you!!!